Sunday Mornings

I currently work at a church as a scholarship singer and i go ever Wednesday evening for practice and every Sunday morning for worship service. for some of you this sounds similar to your ritual but i haven't gone to church before my recent economic benefit and honestly without the benefit i probably wouldn't go. I know this sounds bad but its true. i make $36 a week there. By going there i improve my sight reading skills tremendously, make connections with people in that community, form friends with my fellow scholarship singers, and prove my trustworthiness and reliability to the choir director who also happens to be my college director and Ear Training teacher this semester.

i told one of my friends from mesquite about this job and he brought up a very valid point. He believes strongly that there is no god. me and him have talked and personally i am on the fences. I'm a very factual person and honestly i see no hard evidence in either direction. Does the fact that i go to church to make money make me take advantage of the church, or am i selling my beliefs?

over my high school career i grew to be very close with my voice teacher(who happens to be a pastors wife). her and i had had multiple conversations about where i stand on religion and how it troubles me. when i told her of the job she was so happy for me. she saw it as a way for me to absorb the word of god.

as a child i was born into The Church of Christ. i was forced to go at every opportunity and for this i resented church and my father for forcing me to go. my father became abusive and my mom took me and my sister away and we went to my grandparents house. I stayed completely away from religion for 1 or 2 years. when i became close to my voice teacher i would show up periodically to her baptist church. my father is the type of man that knows he is right and every one else is wrong when it comes to religion (the true christian type) so i could not tell him about my church shopping. Music is a big part of my life and after being exposed to a church with more music than just congregation hymns, with the old people droning off pitch to the tunes they always sing, i began to see that it really dosen't matter how or where you see god.

I will more than likely be working in a church for the rest of my life simply because of the money that can be made and the benefits that i gain.

so i ask you, is this wrong?